Who understands men?

1. The nice men are ugly.

2. The handsome men are not nice.

3. The handsome and nice men are gay.

4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.

5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.

6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.

7. The handsome men without money are after our money.

8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.

9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual,  somewhat nice and have money, are towards.

10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!

11.The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.

NOW ...WHO IN THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN?

·          Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.

·          If Guys had their period, theyd brag about their tampon size.

·          Men are like lawn mowers...when youre not pushing them around, your riding them.

·          Guys are like slinkies fun to watch fall down the stairs.

·          Guyz act like dicks to make up for the onez they don't have.

·          Guys are like mascara, they run at the first site of emotion.

Here are 15 pieces of advice:

1) Don't imagine you can change a man-unless he's in diapers

2) What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.

3) If the put a man on the moon, they should be able to put them all up there.

4) Never let your man's mind wander- it's too little to be out all alone.

5) Go for younger men. You might as well, they never mature anyway.

6) Men are all the same. They just have different faces so you can tell them apart.

7) Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

8) Women don't make fools of men-mos of them are the do-it-yourself-types.

9) The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest that they are too old for it.

10) Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

11) If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

12) The children of Israel wandered around  the desert for 40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.

13) If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him check books.

14) Remember that a sense of humour does not mean that you tell him jokes; it means that you laugh at his.

15) Sadly, all men are created equal.

AND, this was found on a bumpersticker: "If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen

~*~ A Chickz Fairytale ~*~